Friday, February 24, 2017

Chapter 1.4 - Turning The Page

Yes! Finally another chapter! I have been a bit lazy with my posting lately. This chapter was just hard for me to write. This chapter does finally dive into the darker parts of this story. It deals with Child Abuse. I have done everything to my best ability to do the research on it and I honestly don't recommend skipping this chapter as this subject is a huge part of the plot, however I have applied trigger warnings to it for those who are sensitive to the subject. If you have more knowledge on this subject and would address it respectfully and give me a few tips, I would LOVE that. Psychology is a huge, huge part of my life. The fabulous Livvielove has been helping me apply this subject to my story and I have been taking notes.Since I have listened to three constant songs while writing this chapter, I have created a playlist for it. The first song is for the parts in between the flashbacks, the next two songs are for the flashbacks. Spoiler alert for Livvielove's fabulous story "Song of the Nightingale." I recommend reading it! The story is...amazing. Also, I just wanted to say a huge thanks to Boolprop for nominating this little story for a golden plumbob! I am in...awe.


  


Jasper stumbled around in the woods numbly after Quinn and him had gone their separate ways. He couldn’t seem to process what he had done, what he was doing, and what he was going to do. Quinn had answer the question simply; show up at Agonin’s temple and he would see.


Jasper wasn’t sure when his hands had started to shake or when he had started to walk in circles over and over again, never reaching a point. For the last two days he had not been sleeping except when he had been knocked out by two powerful individuals that had blown up a temple as he watched and asked for them to do it again. 


Jasper took a step forward as the leaves crunched under his feet. 


The trees engulfed him and he felt claustrophobic. After waking up he had trespassed onto property that surely was part of a police investigation and didn’t react when Jimmy had aimed a gun at his head. 



“Shit.” Jasper said as he started pacing faster than he had been hours before. He flipped off his biological mother. Shit. Shit. He talked about Natalia even when he could barely admit to himself what he did wrong in that relationship. He knew what it was. He wasn’t stupid; he was just a dumb ass. A very, very selfish dumb ass. Jasper stared at the sun through the trees. Anytime now. He would need to leave anytime now. Shit. He couldn’t do this.



He was too normal. Shit. He couldn’t do this. He wanted to, but why him of all people? He couldn’t hold a steady job. He was homeless because he ran away from his problems instead of talking about them. He was a misfit. What the hell was he doing? He just wanted to call the one person who he knew would know what to do. He fumbled in his pocket for his phone.


He wanted to call his mom. He just wanted to call his mom. She would know what to do. He had just flipped his birth mother off. He dialed her number quickly and hoped she would be able to answer. He closed his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. Fuck. 



“Hello?” A familiar voice answered as Jasper tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t.
He gasped for breath before he started speaking. “I watched a temple explode and then Jimmy pointed a gun at my head before I flipped Amy off and Jimmy was turned into a puppet.” He said quickly as he stumbled over his words. Fuck. This wasn’t going to end well. Shit. 


"Jasper-? Jazzy? Is that you Jazzy? What's wrong sweetheart?" Her voice shifted from normal to purely concerned as she spoke to Jasper through the phone.
He hyperventilated as he tried to gather his words. “I just screwed up. I think. I don’t know. I think I just angered the..” He stopped himself for a moment. “I can’t believe I left Bridgeport, mom.”
"Jazzy? Jazzy, baby, where are you? Are you in danger? Slow down. Everything is ok, just tell me where you are, ok?" 


Jasper paused and thought about what he should say next. Gods, why couldn’t he think straight? He just needed to start with the general questions first and work his way from there. “I’m okay at the moment.” He paused again. “I’m in the woods.” He pulled the vial he had been staring at for hours out of his pocket as he looked at it for some kind of hint of what kind of mess he had gotten himself into. A mess he didn’t want to get himself out of no matter how hard he tried which wasn’t very hard.



“It’s a long story.” He said as he choked on air. Her voice didn't grow any less filled with concern as she spoke to him. "Which woods, Jazzy? Are you alone? You said something about an explosion... are you injured baby?"
Shit. He was freaking his mom out now too. “I’m not injured...I just might have watched and explosion and...cheered?” Was cheered the right word? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure of anything. He didn’t want to get her involved into this just in case it ended up badly. Shit...wasn’t that the reason he got into the mess that brought him to Dragon Valley in the first place? The fact he refused to rely on people he loved? That clearly wasn’t working. Location? He wasn’t exactly sure. Where was he? Was he still next to the farm? His brow furrowed. No..he must have moved farther away from it. Damn it.


Her voice remained warm and she laughed slightly. "You cheered on an explosion? That sounds exactly like something you would do. Take a deep breath, baby, and stay on the phone with me. So you watched an explosion, then what happened?"
“I think I might of..uh.” Jasper fought for breath as he stared at the ground. How did he word this? Was there a way to word this? Shit. Did he join a cult? He just joined a cult. Shit. Shit. He stared at the note he held in his other hand. How did he word this? How the fuck did he word this? How did he tell his own mother he had join a cult? He couldn’t. “..I met an interesting group of people.” Shit. Was that the way to word it?



 He knew she would see through it. He was a disappointment. She had taken him in when he was starving and scared. He had returned by leaving without no explanation and calling after joining a cult. What kind of son was he? He had not called in over a year. He had only been thinking about himself in the process. He was selfish. Did he even deserve to be called her son?
"Jasper, what happened? You can talk to me, Jazzy." She had seen through him, and her voice reflected that. It was gentle and warm. "You know you can tell me anything, I just want to help you, sweetheart. Do you want me to come find you? I've got your father's potions, you just need to tell me what country you're in. Tell me what you need, Jazzy. Tell me what happened."
Jasper started  “I think I just…” Here came the disappointment. He wondered if he should tell her he needs to go before he lost the only mom he had ever truly had. He hoped she could forgive him one day for everything he had put her and his dad through. He didn’t deserve forgiveness.  “...I’m so sorry. I think I just joined a cult.”


"Jazzy... there's no need to apologize to me. You need to remember that it doesn't matter how far you go, or what you do, or who you're with - I will always love and support you. You're my son, no matter what anyone else tells you." Her words were filled with sureness and warmth.
Jasper took a deep breath. He had missed his mom. He had missed her so much. “I-I’m going to sound insane but I’m positive a man turned Jimmy into a puppet.” Jasper paused. Had he been hallucinating? He shook his head. It was too real. He blurted out what he was thinking. “I missed you, mom.” He remembered the first time he had met her after everything had happened. Jeffrey, his father, had saved his life. He had been starving and being beaten by his birth mother. She had accepted him as her own and taken him in with little explanation needed.




 
Jeffrey, the 'not a god-dude, god-dude,' took Jasper from his family home for what Jasper hadn't realized might've been the last time. He clutched onto Jeffrey when Jeffrey had picked him up. "Now don't look out, ok kiddo?" His voice was warm as he hugged onto Jasper. Jasper nodded and he felt himself getting dizzy as he squeezed his eyes shut. The air cooled and Jasper could see his breath coming out in a fog by his face as he opened his eyes to the strange new world.


Jeffrey hugged him tighter, "sorry, I know it's cold. We're going to go to my house now, ok? I've got some good food and we're going to take a look at those booboos, alright little man?"
Jasper nodded as he stared at his breath he could now see in the air. “Why is i-it so cold?” His voice squeaked. It was really weird. Specks of ice that looked like coconut flakes, yet didn’t filled the air as Jasper stared in wonder. Weird.
"It's winter here, buddy. Come'on, let's get you inside." Jeffrey walked with Jasper into the older home where there was the smell of food filling the warm air. "Mel? Are you home?"
"In the kitchen!" There was a woman's voice that filled the air.
Jeffrey looked down at Jasper before kneeling down next to him. "You warming up in here, Jasper?" He gave him a gentle smile.



Jasper took a deep breath and checked to make sure he couldn’t see his breath. Jasper nodded and gave him a thumbs-up. He stared at Jeffrey as he spoke seriously. "Jeffrey the god dude that says he isn't a god dude, why is there cold coconut flakes falling out of the sky?"
Jeffrey chuckled and gave him a grin. "You haven't seen snow before, have you buddy?"



 He opened his mouth to speak again when a woman came to the living room and froze."Dinner is- oh!" Her hand came up as she looked at Jasper curiously.
"Mel - it's a long story." He said to her quietly. 


She looked at him for a moment before she nodded and her face shifted to something warmer as she approached and kneeled down with Jeffrey, her green eyes on Jasper carefully. "What a handsome young man. What's your name, sweetie?"
Jasper stared at the woman as he thought of his momma hitting him with the spoon. He scooted away carefully from her and stared at the exit before answering. “J-Jasper.” He said hesitantly as he waited for the next hit.
The woman looked at Jeffrey before back to Jasper, her face remaining sweet, though her eyes filled with concern. "Hi there, Jasper, my name is Mellie. You know I made some food in the kitchen - are you hungry?" 


Jasper nodded with wide eyes. He resisted the urge to dash into the kitchen and grab what he could before he got in trouble, but he didn’t want to disappoint Jeffrey the god dude that claimed he wasn’t a god dude. He was just so hungry.
Mellie gave him a soft smile. "You look pretty hungry and growing boys certainly need their food. Come on, let's get you something to eat. Are you allergic to anything sweetie?"
Jasper shook his head as he got to his unsteady feet. He walked towards her cautiously. Could this be a trap? Maybe it was, but Jasper was too hungry to care.


Mellie smiled and moved to stand up herself. "Good, because I've got some nice warm chili on the stove that needs eaten. Nothing better on a cold day, right?" She walked beside Jasper into the kitchen area where she poured him a bowl filled with the steaming chili, setting it down at the table with a spoon. "Eat as much as you want, sweetie, and if you finish and want more just let me know, ok?" 





 
Her voice remained warm but he could hear the emotions behind it. "I missed you too, Jazzy. Take a deep breath, sweetie - everything is ok."
Jasper took a deep breath as he stared at Mania’s note. He wanted a chance at something different. Something new yet he had forgotten the people he cared about in the process of getting it. “I’m not sure what to do.” He said quietly through the phone. 


"Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be ok. What are you worried about, Jazzy?"
Jasper gasped for breath. “I just...Jimmy pointed a gun at my head and then he got turned into a puppet. After that I flipped Amy off.” Shit. Shit. What was going on? What the hell was going on?
"Jim pointed a gun to your head, baby? Oh Jazzy... you're not still there, right? Why in the world was that monster waving a gun around at my baby?" Her voice grew more tense as she spoke into the phone.
Jasper shifted uneasily as he spoke. “It’s...a long story. A man came back for his chicken that I had previously owned and gave to Amy. Jimmy decided the best way to solve the issue was to point a gun at his head. I sided with the man and got a gun pointed at my head.” Jasper took a deep breath. “Amy decided to come out and make things worse so the man handed the chicken to me and somehow...turned Jimmy into a puppet. I followed him out of the property and flipped Amy off.” What the hell had he just done? 



"Oh Jasper, sweetheart, everything's ok. Are you still outside Jim and Amy's place? Do you want me to come to you? Take a deep breath baby. Were you staying with Amy and Jim?"
Did he keep the truth from her again? Did he tell he was outside of the farm and he was homeless? He didn’t want to keep things from her anymore. He just wasn’t sure what to do anymore. He felt like a child again, scared of the possibilities that weren’t going to happen. They haunted him and crept into every corner of his mind when they could.





Jasper Piers sat on the multi-colored rug as Mrs. Maloney read a book out loud. He sighed as he picked at the multi-colored strings that had come out of place on the rug. He just wanted to go home but he wasn’t sure if he could call home ‘home.’ He had toys and his mom and dad loved him but there was this weird feeling. What if they didn’t like him like momma and momma’s husband at the old farm? Would he get in trouble again? No, that nice lady that mom and dad took him to said he wouldn’t. He looked back at Mrs. Maloney as he patted the strings back into place. Jasper didn’t like books. They made everything go really slow. Jasper still tried to listen though. 

“Now here class is a chicken.” Jasper’s hands started to tremble.
“Fine, you know what you should do? Get on mom’s good side. Go clean the Chicken Coop.”


He didn’t want to clean the Chicken Coop again. Chicken. Chicken Coop.
“Chickens can live as long as 20 years!”


Violet looked at Jasper with pity in her eyes as she stepped away from him. “What a shame. MOM!”
Jasper shook his head as he walked backwards. “No, no. I-I will clean the Chicken Coop. Please-please... “ He looked at her with pleading eyes.
Violet shook her head and sighed. “Too late now. Mom is coming. You better not cry.”


Heavy sobs broke into the air as Jasper hugged his legs tightly and hid his head. No. He wasn’t going back! He wasn’t going to clean the Chicken Coop! He didn’t want his momma to hurt him anymore! He had a better mom!
“Jasper.” Mrs. Maloney said soothingly as Jasper shook his head.
“YOU CAN’T HIT ME ANYMORE. I’M NOT CLEANING THE CHICKEN COOP!”




“Jasper.” Mrs. Maloney said quietly as she hugged him and he didn’t respond.
He sobbed as tried not to think about the Chicken Coop. “I-I want my mom.”  Mrs. Maloney’s eyes clouded over as she called over Ms. Reid. Ms. Reid quietly pulled Jasper out of the classroom as he continued sobbing.
Violet shook her head and sighed. “Too late now. Mom is coming. You better not cry.”


“I DON’T WANT HER TO COME!”
“Jasper.” Ms. Reid said kindly as she looked at him worriedly. “What’s the matter?”
Violet was right. Jasper heard the wooden floor creak  from the kitchen as his mother held a wooden spoon in her hand.
Jasper whimpered. “I-I don’t want to get hit again. I want my mom.”


“WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO AGAIN?” He tried to be strong. He did, but the moment she grabbed his shirt and brought him up to her face, he screamed for help as the spoon struck his face. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the next hit as he winced away from his mother’s cruel gaze.


Ms. Reid nodded as she rubbed his back soothingly as Jasper covered his ears and cried. Jasper Piers was a horrible child. His momma reminded him everyday when she would throw the rusty lamp at him that resided in the living room. Her fist collided with his cheek as he stumbled back, cupping the forming bruise. Ouch. What had he done wrong? He didn’t know. He didn’t know. “Mo-mom-momma-” He said as tears started streaming down his face. His momma stepped forward, placing her foot on his stomach as he struggled beneath her.
“DON’T HIT ME!”


"Jasper? Baby?" Her voice was far away but he knew it. He knew it so well and he looked for it. "Jazzy? What's wrong baby?" She was there, helping him off the floor carefully and into her arms.
Jasper clung to his mom tightly as he buried his head into her shoulder. “T-They brought up chickens and she started hitting me again, mom. She keeps hitting and yelling at me.”
Her face was emotionless. “Jasper, what did I say about crying?”
His mother gently stroked his back, holding him as she soothed him. "Oh baby, no." She whispered. "No one's hurting you, Jazzy. I won't let them. You're with me now. You're safe."
Jasper cried harder against her. “I-I don’t want to go back to her mom. I don’t want to clean the Chicken Coop again.”



He cried until he was carefully peeled from her shoulder. One hand held him soothingly while the other wiped away the tears from his face. "Everything is ok, baby." She hushed and soothed him as she wiped each of his tears. He struggled to breathe in as he just wanted to collapse back into her. "Listen to me, Jazzy. Everything is ok. You don't ever have to do something you don't want to do. You're allowed to say no. You get to decide what you do with your life, baby. You can do anything you put your mind to, and no one else gets to have that say. Ok, baby?"




The flashbacks were coming back at a steady pace. His past was crashing down around him and he kept rereading the page he had been stuck on. He had to take a chance and stop letting his past torture him. He had one thing he had to do; he had to see through with Mania’s note. Giving up now would make him wonder what he had missed the rest of his life. "Jasper? Jazzy? Baby are you still there? Jasper?" His mom's voice was growing more panicked as he had been silent.
“I will tell you everything, mom. I just need to see through with one more thing.” He was about to make a promise he didn’t know if he could keep but if he could, he would. “I promise to call you more often and if everything works out...I’m coming back to Bridgeport.” 


He wasn’t sure when or how. He was tired of being stuck in Dragon Valley. Change was coming and he was sure as hell not going to be stuck living in the past.


"CHICKEN BOY!
I'm starting to like you even more. Go ahead and take the lid off of that nice vial we gave you and smell the nice treat we've got for Agonin and his posse.
Don't worry, it's not poisonous... just a little... chaotic.
Go ahead into the temple and dump this lovely concoction in the soup kitchen stew. Feel free to stick around, it'll be a grand time.
XO
-Mania”



*Livvielove wrote Mania's note, Jeffrey, and Mellie. She gets full credit for their characters.*

2 comments:

  1. THE FEELINGS in this chapter are immense.
    Jazzy. JAZZY. <3

    I loved it so much. You outdid yourself!

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    Replies
    1. Aaah! Almost forgot to reply, Livvielove! I like how it turned out in the end and you were a huge help so thank you again! =D

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