Friday, January 5, 2018

Chapter 1.1 - You're Bigger Than Your Fears

The first chapter of Edhen Dath! Again! Thank you so much to Livvielove and Blams for making all the wonderful poses for me. Some of the more err...special ones are mine because I'm still trying to learn. Also, another huge thanks for Livvielove basically helping me write out all of the first section of this chapter, step by step.

The sharp push of the mother’s hands caused the little boy to fall to the ground from the passenger door of the four-door Sedan. He winced as he hands caught himself from the fall, pain radiating from his palms where gravel met flesh.

"If you love those damn wolves so much, Jasper, why don't you go suck the life out of them instead!" His mother hissed at him as she slammed the car door shut. Jasper opened his mouth to protest, but shut it as the car screeched off the shoulder and was speeding out of his view, leaving him alone on the half-frozen ground with his eyes burning.

He would not cry.
This wasn’t uncommon for his mother, she would often get angry at him for doing something wrong. Most of the time, Jasper deserved it, or at least he thought so because he had done something wrong. This time it hurt more than the gravel in his palms. He had just wanted to give her a present for Brumalia. They had made a handmade ornament to give to their parents for the winter holiday.
Jasper though she would like it, but she hadn’t.
He got up on his feet as he dusted the dirt and gravel from his hands on his pants. Jasper’s eyes widened in horror as he stared at the streak of blood on them as his eyes watered.

Don’t cry.
His mom was going to mad.
His pants were stained.
If his pants were stained, he wouldn’t be able to eat dinner again. His mom would get mad at him. She would tell him that they already didn’t have enough money as it was and she couldn’t afford to keep getting him new pants.
He had gotten dirt on them before.
How would she react to blood?
Could you even get blood out of pants?
Jasper shivered as he wrapped his small arms around him and looked around the empty road before he started walking.

He looked up at the dark trees to the stars.
His house was through the woods, but he didn’t recognize the road.

Sometimes when his mom got really mad she would lock him out of the house as punishment and Jasper would walk through the woods.

He had heard there were some wolves in this forest, and sometimes Jasper could swear he could see their silhouettes at night.
He had learned that they traveled in families called packs and would stick out for each other.
He wanted to be part of a pack.

Packs never locked someone out of the house, or threw them out of cars when they make mistakes, or took away their dinner when they got angry.
Jasper lurched forward as he lost his footing on the hill. His ankle crunched as he continued to fall before putting his hands forward and stop him from tumbling down more. His hands started to burn again as Jasper looked at them before shakingly trying to move his leg. A sharp jab of pain clouded his vision as the tears he had been holding back started to fall.

No. He couldn’t cry.
Jasper’s face continued to freeze as his leg burned.
He cried harder, no longer being able to contain his tears anymore.
Why couldn’t he just make his mom happy for once?
Why did he have to hurt her?
Nothing he could do was right.
No amount of ornaments would make her happy with him.
Not enough sorry’s could make her love him.
He was just a problem she had to deal with everyday.
A twig snapped as Jasper suddenly stopped crying. He wiped his face with his sleeve.
His eyes widened as he looked around.

When his mom had locked him outside, she had told him the wolves would finally eat him. She told him that he wouldn’t be her burden anymore once they ate him.
Wolves were really cool, but Jasper didn’t want to get eaten.
His heart beated rapidly as he stiffened and hold his breath.
He did not want to get eaten.
Jasper sniffled as his eyes darted around the eerily quiet woods.
Time froze like the ground as two wolves stepped forward, bigger than he was.
He was going to die.

He needed to run.
It had started to snow as Jasper tried to move his leg forward only to cry out in pain.
He tried to again before finally giving up.
His vision was blurry as he shakingly raised his hands in front of him. “I-I don’t want to be eaten.”

This was it.
This was why his mom had thrown him into the woods.
The wolves were going to eat him.
He had angered her too much this time.
Too much.
The wolves walked slowly towards him. “I-I promise I won’t anger mommy anymore. I won’t make any more ornaments!” Jasper’s sobs became louder. “I-I don’t want to die.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll be quiet. I won’t talk anymore!”
One of the wolve’s whimpered as Jasper froze as it looked at him with human-like eyes.

“C-Can you understand me?” The wolf tilted its head in a nodding motion he thought. Jasper brought his sleeve up to his face and wiped his face. The other wolf watched from a distance.
“Y-You won’t hurt me?” Jasper shook as the snow stuck to the ground. “M-My mom pushed me out of the car. S-She doesn’t want me. I just make her angry.” He sniffled as he tried to stop crying.

The wolf lowered its head as it walked towards him again slowly. Jasper froze on instinct as the wolf approached him before licking his tears away. He wrapped his arms around the wolf as he buried his head into her fur, crying harder.

He had just wanted to not make his mom angry.
Why couldn’t he not make her angry?

The air shifted around Jasper as his skin tingled. In an instant, fabric replaced fur as a woman that had been in the place of the wolf as she pulled him up to her and hugged him. Jasper cried into her shoulder as he wondered how she had replaced the wolf, but just hugged her tighter instead of asking.

The wolf that had been watching from the distance was now a man. He took off his coat and draped it over Jasper’s shoulders as he looked at him in concern.

Jasper was carried away from the dark forest where he forgot about his mother’s anger.  
If just for a moment.

“Please explain to me how you found him in the woods.” Jasper’s mother spoke loudly as Jasper woke up, his hands trembling. He looked around the dark room with wide eyes.

She had come back
She was going to take him back
He sniffled as he climbed out of the bed. The floorboards creaked as Jasper’s eyes widened more.

She was going to catch him.
He was going to get into trouble for being out of bed.
He quickly ran across the room, the floorboards aching more and more before he stopped.

"I'm a Park Ranger of the forest preserve and I found a little boy injured and abandoned in the woods saying his mother told him he would get eaten by wolves."

Jasper’s hands started to shake. She was being mean to Mellie. Mellie had taken him in along with Jeffrey and gave him hugs when he was feeling bad. She would sing him songs when he couldn’t sleep.

“I don’t have to explain how I parent to strangers.” His mother said, her voice getting louder with each word. He walked closer to the door before hesitantly leaning in and putting his ear on it.

"Well you can explain it to the police then."

The house was dead silent as Jasper took a deep breath before his mother started screaming. “I don’t have to explain anything to you or anyone else! He’s my son! How do I know you’re actually a Park Ranger? Where’s Jasper? I’ll speak to my son and get this sorted out with him.”

“You can’t sort something out with a six year old.” Mellie responded back, her voice getting a little bit louder.

“What I do with my son is none of your business!” Jasper’s mother snapped back at her.
"You haven't been listening, have you? Your son was abandoned in the woods wounded. As a Park Ranger I need to report this."
“Well go ahead and report it then! I don’t want him back! I’m not taking him back! He was the biggest mistake I have ever made! You should have left him in those damn woods!” Jasper sniffled as he froze before looking in the direction of the bed.

“He’s not the mistake here; you’re parenting is. You don’t deserve to be his mother. He deserves better than someone like you.”
“How dare you. You don’t know what I’ve been through-
“-Excuse me. I need to go check up on a few things.” Mellie replied as she cut off Jasper’s mother. Jasper’s eyes widened as he quickly tried to quietly go back to the bed. He caught some of the last bits and pieces of the conversation before Jeffrey and his mother started talking in hushed voices.

"Let's just talk this out. We understand you would no longer like to take care of Jasper and we have an offer for you. He'll go to a safe home that will provide for him. It'll all be kept quiet too."

Jasper closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep as the door opened quietly. Hushed footsteps made its way through the room before Mellie sat on the bed, it groaning in response.

 Her hand raised to Jasper’s face as his body became still, the frozen feeling of the night he had been found coming back.
He knew he was safe.
He knew Mellie wouldn’t hurt him.
Why was he so scared?
She seemed to notice the sudden chance as she rubbed his back comfortingly. Jasper wanted to open his eyes and hug her tightly. He wanted to hug her and never let go.
He didn’t want to be afraid.
He never wanted to be afraid.
His eyes opened as pulled off the blanket and hugged her. Jasper buried his head into her shoulder, thinking about how he didn’t want to go back to his mom. 

"Oh sweetheart," her voice soothed him as she continued to rub his back. "I'm sorry we woke you."
“She woke me up.” Jasper replied, his voice barely a whisper. “I don’t want to go back to her.”
"Jasper, dear..." Melanie's voice paused to gather her thoughts and Jasper could feel his stomach drop - would he have to go back? Before he could ask, she spoke again, gentle and calm. "How would you feel about staying with Jeffrey and I instead?"
Jasper’s eyes widened as he hugged her tighter. “Y-You guys would do that?” They would?
He wouldn’t have to go back to his mother?
"If that's what you want, Jasper, of course. If not we can try to contact some other family members of yours who... aren't your mother. I'm afraid you won't be going back with her, it's just... not an option right now."
Jasper shook his head. “I-I don’t have any other family. I want to stay with you guys.”

What if he angered them?
What if he disappointed them?
Melanie smiled at him softly. "I would like that very much, sweetheart. I know it's scary, but try not to worry. I promise you're safe here with us."
He was safe now?
Jasper thought about the what it meant and what it hadn’t meant with his mother.
He held onto Mellie desperately and sniffled.
Jasper was safe now. He was safe with Mellie and Jeffrey. A feeling unlike the cold hard ground against his bleeding palms the night he was thrown out of the car filled him.

Jasper looked out the window with wide eyes. It was snowing in Bridgeport and the nights were still cold, but none of them compared to the night he had been thrown out of his mom’s car.

He anxiously stared at the looming trees.
There was all sorts of animals besides wolves in them.
He had learned that wolves were the best even though Mellie and Jeffrey claimed they weren’t like regular wolves.
They were werewolves.
Werewolves were different; they were both a human and a wolf.
They could shift back and forth while wolves were just wolves.
They couldn’t do that.

The door creaked open as Jasper turned away from the window, his eyes growing bigger.
A teddy bear arm popped out, waving at him. “Can I come in? I have a guard bear.” Jeffrey asked.
Jasper stared at the teddy bear curiously before nodding. “Yeah.”
What was a guard bear?

Jeffrey walked across the room before sitting on the bed next to Jasper. He cleared his throat before speaking. “You know, Jasper, when I was your age I was afraid of the woods.”
Jasper’s eyes widened. “You were?”
Jeffrey nodded. “I was.”

Jasper couldn’t imagine Jeffrey being afraid of the woods; or anything. He just didn’t seem like the type of guy to be scared while Jasper...Jasper was.
He was scared of a lot of things.
“How do you not be scared?” Jasper asked staring at Jeffrey with big, round eyes.
"By reminding myself that I am bigger than my fears. That no matter how scared I am or how poor the odds may seem, that I will never forget that I can do anything I put my mind to, and you can too, Jasper."

“I can?” He had never considered that.
Everything else just seemed so big when compared to him.
He was small.

Jeffrey nodded. “You can, Jasper.” He carefully looked at Jasper before speaking again. He handed the teddy bear to Jasper. “I want you to have this as a reminder that when things seem too big, you’re bigger than them. That you’ll always be protected from them even when you’re afraid.”
Jasper looked at Jeffrey before turning his gaze to the bear.
He had never had a toy before.
Not for long.
His mom would get too angry and take it from him, throwing it out into the woods like she did with him.
Looking at it, he wasn’t sure if he could keep it for long, but Jeffrey wasn’t his mom.
He would let him if he asked.

Jasper held it close to him, scared to ask in case the answer was no. The room was silent for a moment before he spoke again. “Thank you, Jeffrey.” He said quietly.
Something in Jasper’s face gave away his fear. “It’s yours, Jasper. It will always be yours.”
Jasper’s eyes widened again before he hugged Jeffrey.
In a mere second, he was hugged back. 

Jeffrey and Mellie are Livvielove's character. All credit for them are hers. She helped write their dialogue for me.


  1. Awww shit JASPER
    This poor child
    im sorry but im not sorry, one hell of a bitch that mother
    Jeffrey and Mellie are perfect for Jasper


  2. Awwwwwwwwwwwww shiiiiiit! What a start! We went from adult Jasper to baby Jasper and it made me want to weep! :(
    I'm so glad Mellie and Jeffrey could be there for such a sweet boy! Poor, sweet boy...
    What a beautiful chapter! It was emotional and quite a ride! I'm invested for poor Jasper's journey, wherever it goes!


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